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Choices

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The problem with people that sway more towards “the arts” side of thinking is often they (or I) quit before we’re ahead.  Or some of us, rather (* hand goes up).  I overthink and ruin the creative process (sometimes)... Then other times, the passion of the expression overtakes and I go for it, in this sublime attempt to pour it out and then:  boom, magic.   Note: I’m neither making claim to fizzle or fizz. Anyways..  I think it’s safe to say I quit while I’m ahead a lot, though. That whole concept is a silly lie in and of  itself,… “quitting while you’re ahead”?  It doesn’t make sense.  Yet, I can measure times throughout my life where I was just on the edge of something special to just recoil back… Not quite worthy.   I'd let the hardships and the challenges tell me I couldn't do it.  Even though the hardships had a hand in shaping me, making me into exactly who I am, and who I am not.. I don't think it's the hard stuff that intends
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Waves

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There was, is, always this undertow… Writing this is probably one of the “bravest” things I’ve done.   In this “current”, it can be difficult to know the rational from the irrational. To discern what’s really happening from what you think is happening. But wait. Stop. < That. That whole train of thought is what got you here in the first place.    I found myself in these cycles of blaming myself.   Presently less than I used to.   In this text, I’m going to use vague descriptive.   It’s better that way… Imagine it as a sea...an ocean… Thoughts coming and going, like waves. Wave…2016 I sat on my couch and told you about things. You asked me, “ But what did YOU do”? By this time, my heart had already been so low that even this statement, even from you, couldn’t touch the “things” I’ve shoved down. Wave… just drift…2006 Your anger was vile. The lamp broke, the keys hit the wall and my shock pushed dismay further into my … You left, I sank to my knees, yet ag
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Just one chapter of the story.

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Happily. Ever. After.        I  once thought marriage was a high point in life. Find the guy. Pick the perfect dress. Plan a beautiful party. Surround yourself with friends and family to celebrate this glorious moment of love. Although, I've never been the typical chick about it.  I didn't envision the dress since I was a teen. I didn't have a single detail planned out.  Did the idea interest me? Sure. But I never had too much "hope" in it. In fact, I remember having a moment in my heart when I told the Lord I was happy being single. Why did I have to get married?  It wasn't too long after that moment before I met the man I'd marry, Love, and give birth to our two beautiful, lovely children.    But marriage was hard. We fought. A lot. Heartache beyond heartache.  Some moments I block out because they are too painful to deal with. Moments that made me question my faith. I gave all I could but it wasn't enough. It failed. We were
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